50 Signs You Might Be Gen X

Check all that apply with a Number 2 pencil

1. You still call those alligator shirts “Izods”

2. You have an AOL, Yahoo, or Earthlink email address

3. You feel the urge to put a quarter on the arcade machine to “hold your spot.”

4. You put lemon juice in your hair to get that natural blonde look

5. Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza was your after-school go-to

6. You called your friends’ parents Mr. or Mrs.

7. You understand this cartoon…

   

8. It drives you to madness when a co-worker says, “You’re good “ instead of “All good.”

9. You still record a voicemail greeting that says, “Leave a message after the beep.”

10. You used to have all your friends’ phone numbers memorized

11. You still use proper punctuation in texts

12. You wore those ridiculous wrist guards, elbow pads, and knee pads just to rollerblade

13. You still hand out business cards

14. This…

    

15. You made crank calls with impunity because there was no caller ID

16. You once owned a Swatch watch

17. You know the soul-crushing feeling of accidentally deleting a term paper and having no way to get it back.

18. You were known to ‘pop a collar’ on occasion

19. You have an uncanny muscle memory for the Electric Slide

20. You have a massive CD collection in a binder somewhere

21. You owned a “Frankie Says Relax” shirt

22. You were once completely unreachable

23. You have to fight the urge to print your airline tickets

24. You were rockin’ Zima way before this White Claw crap

25. Your kid can’t play you a new song without you muttering, “That totally sounds like The Cure, The Smiths, Nirvana, Radiohead — fill in the blank.”

26. This was a cultural reference…

    

27. “Low key” used to mean mellow. Now you don’t know what the fuck it means.

28. You once thought Mad Libs were the height of comedy

29. You believe mixtapes are superior to Spotify playlists

30. You either had a poster of Farrah Fawcett… or a wild stallion galloping through a stream at sunrise
    

31. You know who Ziggy is

32. You would like to physically injure people who use speakerphones in public

33. No-Doze and Jolt were your go-to options for all-nighters

34. Baby oil was your sunscreen

35. You still believe Mikey died drinking Pop Rocks and Coke (and no, there weren’t spider eggs in Bubble Yum either)

36. This was your first iPad

    

    
    

37. You still buy magazines at the newstand before a flight

38. You can’t remember why you walked into the kitchen, but you can sing every word of “My bologna has a first name...”

39. You sat by the radio with your finger on the pause button, ready to record your favorite song

40. You made collect calls to your parents just so they’d hear your name and know it was time to pick you up

41. You went to at least one wedding where the bride and groom danced to ‘Lady in Red’

42. The first cocktail you ever ordered was a Sex on the Beach

43. Members Only does not refer to a club

44. You had to play limbo with the obscenely long phone cord when Mom was in the kitchen

    

45. You know how to balance a checkbook

46. You own an iron

47. You named your kid Sophia or Noah

48. You still use the words “spaz” and “jip” even though it makes your kids cringe

49. Btw, ‘Cringe” will always be a verb to you, not a noun

50. Whatever