What Your Tab Bar Says About Your Mind

Digital hoarding is real, but the solution is less expensive than therapy.

During a recent writing class, while sharing my screen, one of my students emitted a low, horrified groan.

I get this a lot—but not usually when I’m in the middle of teaching.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

"I’m sorry," she said, "It’s just that every time I see your tab bar, it completely stresses me out."

She had every reason to feel anxious. The tabs atop my Chrome were crammed so tight that they resembled the 405 on Thanksgiving Eve. It was a miracle I could even fit another tab in there without them spilling out off the screen and onto my desk.

I was embarrassed. It’s said that the outer reflects the inner. If that was so, what did my browser’s untidiness say about the state of my mind? I immediately canceled the class and called my therapist.

Why did I keep so many tabs open?

• Was it the digital equivalent of separation anxiety, each tab containing a potentially vital piece of information I might need the moment I closed it?

• Was it because clicking that little 'x' just felt like too much effort? I mean, it’s easier to keep opening new tabs until Chrome eventually causes my computer’s fan to act up.

• Was it because, as a writer, I'd developed a compulsion to collect and hoard every shiny bit of knowledge that caught my eye?

Each tab represented some fragment of potential knowledge— an article I'd read later, a story idea I was researching, a path I might explore. But there were too many of them, cluttering my screen and overwhelming my mind.

And it wasn’t just my browser. My email has gotten so unruly that sometimes I can't bear to look at it. At this writing, I have 25,650 emails in my personal Gmail, and that’s just one account. Between all my email addresses, over 150,000 emails are waiting to either be opened or revisited, some dating as far back as 2014.

And then there are my texts. I just looked at the battery history on my iPhone. Messages make up 29% of my storage capacity. I have more messages on my phone than photos of my children.

This can’t be good parenting.

OMG, Am I A Digital Hoarder?

Psychologists call extreme versions of this phenomenon “Digital Hoarding,” which can be defined as collecting excessive digital material. This often leads to what they call tenderly “infobesity,” or the state of being so overwhelmed with information you make yourself sick.

“Digital clutter is just as stressful as actual clutter in our physical world,” Dr. Susan Albers, a clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, told CNN. “Our brains are really predisposed to favor clarity and simplicity over chaos, and that’s how it can feel when you have a million tabs open.”

I don’t think I’m there yet. But then again, most alcoholics don’t think they’re alcoholics, either. Dialing my therapist again.

Dealing With The Clutter

Last night, I did something radical. I quit out of Chrome. Well, I had to force quit out of Chrome because I had so many tabs open that my computer froze. But my point is I cleared my browser, shut that shit down. And when Chrome asked me if I’d like to “restore” my browsing history, I told it to go to hell and started with an empty slate.

Next, I went into my phone and cleared all my text messages.

It will take me several months to clear my emails, but I’m working on that, too.

And you know what? It felt good. The very act of letting go was quite profound. My tab bar, my inbox, my phone, had become a microcosm of the creative mind—constantly collecting thoughts, ideas, and possibilities, then hoarding them like some deranged squirrel preparing for winter. I wouldn’t be able to find most of those nuts anyway.

By clearing my digital clutter, I didn’t just clear my memory; I practiced a kind of digital mindfulness. I gave my brain a reset—not quite restoring it to factory settings but tidying it up to a manageable three-weeks-after-purchase place.

I will be sharing my screen again with my students, and this time, the only groans I hope to hear are from my jokes.